Sid: My guest is red hot for the Messiah he had an experience that maybe none of you will have that same experience but every one of us needs to capture the understanding that my guest his name is Leif Hetland.  I’m speaking to him him at his office in Florence Alabama.  And Leif you know the difference between being a Pastor, loving God, serving Him with every fiber of your being; even to the point of stress and burning out.  And what is it that made such a transformation in your life?  Can we go back to one specific moment even?

Leif:  Well, I think that there’s almost a journey that you have to look back because I’m not going to make this long. But I came as a prodigal son mainly because of religion in church and that lasted where I almost ended up in the pigpen.  The good news was that I got glorious saved and I got healed and I got set free in 1984.  The bad news was I came to church; I went to church suddenly now when I was in church and if you’re going to be a good Christian your going to read your Bible.  And if you’re going to be a good Christian you need to pray.  And before you knew it suddenly all these offertories.  And of course I had just fallen in love with Jesus; had an encounter with Jesus.  And I wanted to be as pleasing to Him as possible but in church I now learned about all the rules and the regulation and all these different things I need to do for Him; then He’s going to be happy; then He’s going to be please with you.  And that started off with a performance treadmill because I’m a high A personality and as I was a very radical for the kingdom of darkness now I wanted to be radical for the kingdom of Light.  And that whole thing was that orphan spirit that was in me and it went back to a little boy; I go back to that 12 year old little boy that just wanted to be loved and just wanted to be secured, that wanted to be valued that just wanted to understand his purpose.  Now I am in ministry, suddenly now I’m in Bible College I’m succeeding; I’m the Pastor of the largest Baptist Church in Norway at that time period.  We baptized more  people than anybody else; my whole identity is look at what I’m doing for You God.  And then I went to the nations and things started to happen and so the whole identity system is “Look what I’m doing for You.”  And what I didn’t realize was that that branch is on the same tree  as the branch that I came from the rebellious branch of what we often call the rebellious son from being into the drugs to everything else.  I went from a bad branch to a good branch but it is part of the same tree called knowledge of good and evil and it is the flesh branch.  And you can only continue that because what about when they didn’t applaud you and they didn’t say that it was the best sermon.  And then a lot of the orphan thinking and the orphan spirit it came out of my family because you cannot keep up and here you are supposed to have the best prayer life and the fasting and then you continue with all these different things that you are going to keep up with.  And then you sense that I’m not good enough father and suddenly I’m ending up with 4 children and I’m not able to take care of my children and then I’m not a good enough pastor.  And then I don’t pray enough and then suddenly it’s the law that comes into my life and he’s a tough marital partner; he points out all the mistakes in your life.  And then the detrimental things in the Kingdom of God is that you try harder; and I tried harder.  And I continued to try harder and the results was just a t a devastation; I almost ruined my family and eventually my ministry and everything else.  Even if I had success in man’s eyes if you looked on paper on the inside I was a person that was heading towards being burned out and becoming another part of the statistics where we’re seeing that most people never finish the race of the calling that God has upon their life.

Sid: But out of curiosity we’re you blind at that point to what you now see?

Leif:  Well, I think that there were several different things;first of all there has been some crisis. And there is a saying that says that “People only change; change is very difficult you either hurt enough to where you have to; you learn enough to where you want to and or you receive enough to where you are able to.”  It’s called an impartation and sometimes…

Sid: I like the receiving of myself but go ahead.

Leif:  But I think that that is often what I see is the combination of all three. There was a major impartation that was taking place in my life and I call it and it was almost a process but I suddenly had an overwhelming experience with God.  I was sitting in the car; my identity I was so happy I had just been.  I had fresh oil and new wine in 2002 and Jensen Franklin or John Kilpatrick and Elmer Town all these names that I look forward to.  Here I’m on the post or here I’m being advertized by Dr. Ron Philips and now I’m one of the speak person. God’s used me in a powerful way and all the people was telling me how great I was.  But I was sitting in the car and suddenly there was almost like the Father was telling me like actually on my report card you got an F.  But I want to remind you something son Jesus He got a straight A and he changed report with you so you do not need to look at your report card any longer in what you have done or have accomplished.  It was none of that measures up to Jesus.  I want you to look at the new report card the way that I look at you. And the reason that I do not treat you on behalf of your history but your destiny.  And I have a destiny over your life but I want you to look at the right report card.  And it was a baptism of love experience where I heard what the Father say what He spoke to Jesus before Jesus had done anything.  “You are My beloved Son whom I love and whom I am well pleased.”

Sid: Now intellectually you knew that wasn’t a revelation to you but the revelation was  when God spoke that to you direct.

Leif:  It was a direct; yes it was an impartation of love it was an experience; it was like the whole…I mean it was like Father God Himself in that car was more close than my secretaries in the office right now. I mean it was an experience where God almost visited a car and was whispered or was speaking into my heart.  And my heart almost placed His arms around me and I wept for the next 3 ½ to 4 hours.  He told me some specific things that I needed to do.  And here is just on example He said “Your wife has always been Rachael to you hasn’t she?  And I said “Yes Sir.”  And He said “Well, she’s always felt like Leah.”  She’s always felt that ministry has been your Rachael you could talk about 1000’s are being saved but watching a video of miracles of quadriplegic walking I would be so excited I could talk for hours.  Oh but by the way “Here’s my wife.” I didn’t have same enthusiasm; I didn’t have the same heart and I realized that my wife and incidence after incidence the Father showed me that I am not the lover.  That I had put the great commission before the great commandment and the result of that was devastating.  So itd it was a combination that brought repentance and it was also a combination and an overwhelmingness of freedom that I do not need to try any longer I don’t need to be an achiever any longer.  Instead of trying I can trust, instead of achieving I can receive and I can learn to rest and I can just learn the secret that I believe most of my teaching is about now.  I can learn about sonship; you don’t have to an orphan any longer, Jesus says “I will not leave you as an orphan but I will come to you.”  And the reason He came to us was to bring us back again to the Father so that we can experience what we see there in the book of the beginning.

Sid: And you know what Mishpochah this is not just words, this is not just good speaking this is a position that Leif is in that we all can enter in.  But I have to ask you Leif with this information that the Holy Spirit gave you about your family what did you do about it?

Leif: The first thing I did was I repented; I went to my wife and I said “I asked, can we go for a walk.”  She had heard my repentance I’m sorry before but there was several different things here that she started to see change and sometimes it takes a time because she was a little suspicious because I’d say I’m sorry.  I’m sorry I’m late, I’m sorry I’m always traveling, she was used to hearing that kind of a language from me.  But this time it was a little different; I told her specifically what God had said. It is not only that you are my Rachael I would have given up ministry if you asked me to and if you want me to I would give up everything that I have and I will go anywhere because you are more important than anything.

Sid: Now did you really mean that, that you would give up ministry?  I mean you’re approaching what you were created for?

Leif:  Yes I would, I would because I did know that everything would flow out of intimacy and out of relationship first with the Father and then with with my wife.  And then I do know that whatever I give up is also what I get.  So it was not my motivation to get something else but I would have canceled everything there was on the calendar if that that was what was need for my wife just to be a lover. And to get to know her in a new way where she would know that her husband is not first of all a Father, a businessman, the President of an organization, a speaker in a conference.  But the he is a lover; that is his identity right now and he exists to receive love and give love.  And that doesn’t start with a nation it starts in the home with my wife and the 4 beautiful children He has given me and out of that it flows into the churches and into the country and into the nation.